Oh yes my friends 2014 is in the book and as tradition
dictates it is time to hand out the ole year end awards. But first let’s have a
little sum up of the year 2014 started very strong with the Oscar winners being
extremely strong movies which may (or may not) have held on to their places in
the top 10 from as far back as January. The two big box office winners of the
year had to be Chris Pratt and Marvel. Though now I think about it, Jennifer
Lawerence did pretty well for herself too (The Fappening? What’s that?). Just
did a quick count there and of the 28 movies I saw this year (hey I’m doing a
masters I did well to see that many), 16 were sequels, prequels or reboots.
Yikes! Anyway before I get to 2014 let’s just have a quick word on 2015 which
can be summed up with two titles Avengers and Star Wars! There’s lots more
coming out but I strongly expect both these movies to come very close (if not
surpassing) Avatar numbers in the box-office.
Okay let’s get to business. As always to be eligible for the
2014 awards it must be a movie that I have seen and has been released in
cinemas in the Republic of Ireland between January 1st and December
31st 2014. If I didn’t see it or if it was released outside of the
time frame, tough titties it ain’t eligible. As always we get the crap out of
the way first.
The “Keanu
Reeves” Award for Worst Actor/Actress
WINNER: The
Entire Cast of Mrs. Brown’s Boys D’Movie
Expect more from this movie later (spoilers) but a quick
note about the acting first. God it’s bad. I mean really bad! They get away
with it on the show because that’s what 22 minutes where the total exposure
time for the cast members is maybe 30 seconds to a minute tops. Just goes to
show nepotism is still alive and well in the 21st century because
that’s the only way the majority of these folks got jobs.
The “Spider-Man
3” Award for Worst Sequel/Prequel/Reboot
WINNER: Sharknado
2: The Second One
The sequel to last year’s Worst Movie winner returns to
make it a brace. Can this series go for the hat-trick? I actually liked the
first one there was a charm to its ridiculousness but this one was just one big
cash grab with all the product placement and cameos all at the cost of actually
being fun. I’ll still watch the third one.
(Dis)Honourable
Mentions: Transformers: The Age of Extinction, 300: Rise of An Empire, Sin
City: A Dame to Kill For
Worst Movie of
2014
WINNER: Mrs.
Browns Boy’s D’Movie
I should have known better. I know. People warned me.
Feck it I thought the show was funny, I still do. But Brendan O’Carroll please
never make another Mrs. Brown movie. Between the horrible acting, ridiculous
plot and flat out racism its just not worth it. Bad, bad ,bad.
Best Soundtrack
WINNER: Guardians
of the Galaxy
The soundtrack which may be single handily responsible
for the highest amount of cassette sales in two decades. Using the Tarantino
formula of licensing songs from the 70’s and 80’s and inserting them into the
movie paid off and helped make Guardians of the Galaxy so memorable. I mean as
soon as you heard “hooked on a feeling” in that first trailer you were mentally
conditioned to love this movie.
Best Musical
Moment
WINNER: “Batman’s
Song” in The Lego Movie
While “Everything Is Awesome” is the song everyone
remembers from this movie (whether they chose to or not) the underlooked gem of
this great movie has to be Will Arnett as Batman singing his dark batman song.
Look it up on youtube if you can’t remember it. It’s hilariously brilliant.
Honourable
Mentions: Mathew McCaughnehy’s chest beating and humming in The Wolf Of Wall
Street, Any song from Guardians of The Galaxy
Funniest Moment
WINNER: Super-Quaalude
Scene in The Wolf Of Wall Street
Man there are so many contenders for this but the sight
of Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill paralytic in Wolf Of Wall Street had me
laughing the hardest of anything else I’ve seen this year. Especially the
flashback to how Leo actually got home from the golf club and telling Jonah
Hill to get off the phone.
Honourable
Mentions: Metaphors don’t go over Drax’s head in Guardians of the Galaxy,22
Jump Streets End-Credits, Air-bag scenes in Bad Neighbours, Spaceship! In The
Lego Movie
Best Special
Effects
WINNER: Dawn
of the Planet of the Apes
This was another hard one. Some good contenders but I’m
going for DOTPOTA because of how good the ape army looked. Really good stuff.
I’m enjoying this series and look forward to the next instalment. Also they
were riding fucking horses and tanks!
Honourable
Mentions: Interstellar, Guardians of the Galaxy, Godzilla, X-Men: Days of
Future Past
Best Newcomer
WINNER: Tony
Revolori as Zero in The Grand Budapest Hotel
This lad did a great job as the young bellboy to Ralph
Fiennes’s cooler than cool concierge. Expect to hear more about this film later
on.
Best
Voice-Acting
WINNER: Will
Arnett as Batman in The Lego Movie
This was a really hard one to decide this year which goes
to show the point I will continue to make that this needs to be an Oscar
category. I’m giving it to Gob because Batman was just hilarious in that movie
and while Kevin Conroy will forever be the voice of Batman for me, I did
thoroughly enjoy Arnett’s comedic take on the character. “If anyone has black
or grey blocks I need them!”
Honourable
Mentions: Chris Pratt, Morgan Freeman, Will Ferrel &, Liam Neeson in the
Lego Movie, Andy Serkis in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Bradley Cooper in
Guardians of the Galaxy
Best Hero
WINNER: Emmet
in The Lego Movie
Okay I’ve mentioned the Lego Movie a few times so far so
let’s go into a bit more depth at this stage. Now be honest raise your hand
anyone that thought this would suck *raises hand*. It’s incredible that this
movie turned out to be as good as it did, a large part was Lego utilizing as
many weapons in their arsenal as possible with cameos from Lord of the Rings,
DC comics, Star Wars characters. Not to mention a stellar voice cast. Oddest of
all the movie actually became really touching in the third act when you figured
out what was REALLY going on. A large part of the movies success was the hero’s
journey of the central character Emmet voiced by Chris Pratt (what a year this
guy had). At the start he’s just a cut and paste standard Lego character but
through sheer accident he ends up involved in a plot between good and evil
which he eventually resolves not through defeating the bad guy but reaching out
to him and showing him the error of his ways (Zack Snyder’s Superman could
learn a thing or two). I am looking
forward to the Lego sequels but I wonder if they’ll be as interesting now that
the central character has been established as a master builder?
Best Villain(s)
WINNER: HYDRA
in Captain America: The Winter Soldier
I was going to give it to The Winter Soldier himself but
then I remembered how big a thing Hail HYDRA was during the start of the
Summer. After you saw this movie it was everywhere! I love that it is now
firmly entrenched in the Marvel cinematic universe with it being a huge
presence in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (some would say that the HYDRA revelation
saved that show) and with it looking like a big presence in Avengers 2: Age of
Ultron. HYDRA is something that Marvel
has done 100% right since the first Captain America movie and quite rightly deserves
the best villain(s) title. HAIL HYDRA, cut off one head and two more shall take
it’s place!
The “Stan Lee”
Award for Best Cameo
WINNER: The
Original X-Men Cast in X-Men Days of Future Past
More specifically I mean Beast, Cyclops and Jean Grey
showing up at the end of the movie signifying that Wolverines mission to change
the future has been successful. AND more to the point by being successful
X-Men: The Last Stand NEVER HAPPENED!!!!! That alone makes this movie
worthwhile. It does kinda make the threat in X-Men: Apocalypse a bit null and
void though. Oh well that’s the trouble with time travel.
The “Evil Dead
2” Award for Best Sequel, Prequel or Reboot
WINNER: Captain
America: The Winter Soldier
Man this was a tough one. As I mentioned earlier 16
sequels this year. Most were meh, but there were some gems in their (see
honourable mentions). Now me personally, I thought the first Captain America
movie was great and I have no problem with Chris Evans as Steve Rogers. I know
several people disagree on both counts. That being said even these people were
universally praising how good this movie was. This movie stands out in the
so-called “Phase 2” of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe (MCU). It did this by the
very successful of two new characters (Flacon and The Winter Soldier),
genuinely changing the MCU (HYDRA now a major presence, SHIELD dismantled, Nick
Fury in hiding), excellent references to the previous installment (Peggy has
Alzheimers, Arnim Zola) and surprising revelations (HYRDA were responsible for
the death of Howard Stark, Stephen Strange!). The script was well written for a
comic book movie and every character got their fair share of screen time. With
the subtitle for the next Captain America movie already known to be “Civil War”
this felt like the perfect stepping stone towards that concept. Marvel had a
stellar year with both this and Guardians of the Galaxy winning at the
box-office and with the critics. It’ll be interesting to see how they do with
Ant-Man (Avengers 2 is a guaranteed money maker).
Honourable
Mentions: X-Men: Days of Future Past, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Godzilla,
The Raid 2, 22 Jump Street
The “Morgan
Freeman” Award for Best Supporting Actor/Actress
WINNER: Jonah Hill as Donnie in The Wolf Of Wall
Street
Who woulda thought the kid from Superbad would grab
himself not one but two Oscar nominations. A perfect example of how a comedic
actor can do it if they’re good enough (looking at you Mr. Carey). If everyone
is really honest with themselves I think we can all agree that Jonah Hill’s
character completely stole the show in Wolf Of Wall Street he’s definitely in
all the scenes that stick out in my mind. Mr. Hill might have to wait for the
third time of asking to get his Oscar but buddy have yourself a Johnpire.
Honourable
Mentions: Jennifer Lawrence in American Hustle & X-Men: Days of Future Past
Best Actress
WINNER: Amy
Adams in American Hustle
If I went back in time 11 months and told myself how
little American Hustle would feature in this year’s Johnpires, past me would be
genuinely surprised. While other films have jumped ahead in it in virtually
every category Amy Adams excellent performance as Bonnie to Christian Bales
Clyde managed to fight of all contenders for Best Actress. Pretty impressive as
this was the first movie I saw in 2014.
Best Actor
WINNER: Jake
Gyllenhall as Louis Bloom in Nightcrawler
This was a hard one. Lots of good performances this year.
This performance by Jake Gyllenhall really stood out when I saw it and I was
predicting an Oscar nomination, possibly a win. Through from what I’ve heard
Michael Keaton may have that in the bank with Birdman now (see next year). Well
don’t worry buddy I’m giving you the Johnpire for your excellent performance as
an unethical, disturbing and motivated free lance cameraman. If you haven’t
seen this I recommend you do as the performance is magnetic and while you
should hate the guy and his warped pursuit of the American Dream you can’t take
your eyes off him. Kudos.
Honourable
mentions: Ralph Fiennes in The Grand Budapest Hotel and Leonardo DiCaprio in
The Wolf of Wall Street.
Best Director
WINNER: Wes Anderson for the Grand Budapest Hotel
I’ve loved Wes Anderson’s movies since I stumbled across
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou. There’s something so quirky about them you
just gotta love. That’s all I’ll say for the moment
Top 10 Movies
of 2014
10. Interstellar
9. The Raid 2
8. Dawn Of The
Planet Of The Apes
7. Guardians
Of The Galaxy
6. X-Men: Days
Of Future Past
5. Captain
America: The Winter Soldier
4. American
Hustle
3. The Lego
Movie
2. The Wolf Of
Wall Street
Best Movie
WINNER: The
Grand Budapest Hotel
Right where was I. Ah yes. Wes Anderson movies are
awesome and this may be my new favourite. The attention to detail here is great
down to using three different aspect ratios throughout the movie to reflect the
time period (apparently the film arrived at cinemas with a note recommending
the correct aspect ratio and warning that it would change throughout). The
characters are all great and if you would indulge me just have a look at the
cast on IMDb. Stellar. I haven’t even
mentioned the story yet which sees a narration of a narration of a narration
(there might be one less narration there, trying to remember) about the story
of Monsieur Gustav the charming gigolo to the elderly Consierge of the title
hotel and how he comes into a large inheritance and the shenanigans that
follow. Seriously go check this film out already if you haven’t.
Right. That wraps us up. Thanks very much if you made it
this far. See y’all next year.
