Hello my duckies and welcome one and all to my annual celebration of all things Pop Culture. The Johnpire Awards. Before we start I must apolagise my comma button on my laptop is broken so my grammer will not be the best. Anyway for those who have never clicked onto my little award show here before. Welcome. I started this a few years ago because I was sick to death of the Oscars getting it wrong and ignoring 10 months worth of movies. Since then I've expanded things a bit to throw in a TV section and a miscelanious section where I throw in anything else I feel is worthwhile. Anyway thanks for clicking and let's get to it.
MOVIES
2011 it must be said was a pretty good year for movies. As always the rules for eligibility for the awards are twofold. 1. I must have seen the movie and 2. It must have been released (IN IRELAND) between January 1st and December 31st 2011. I am pleased to tell you that thanks to our friends at IMDb and their awesome list feature for the first time I can show you the full list of movies eligible for the Johnpires. This list can be viewed here. Anyway enough waffle let's get to the awards and as always we'll start at the bottom of the barrel.
WORST ACTRESS
WINNER: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley; Transformers Dark Of The Moon
She is one good looking chick but Jesus Christ was her acting wooden. Ah well I very much doubt that will hold her career back. Congrats Rosie.
The "Keannu Reeves" Award for WORST ACTOR
WINNER: Jeffery Dean Morgan; The Resident
Ladies know him better as Denny from Greys Anatomy but I was impressed by him as The Comedian in Watchmen. Unfortunatly that seems to have been a watershed performance because in 2011 he stunk up the joint in this atrocious film (more on that later). I really hope this guy can turn his career around like a former winner (and namesake) to this award Nicholas Cage did because he surely can only get better?
The "Spider-Man 3" Award for WORST SEQUEL/PREQUEL/REMAKE
WINNER: The Hangover 2
I almost gave this to Transformers Dark Of The Moon but then thought that to be fair it imoproved on Revenge Of The Fallen. So I'll give it a pass. This movie however added nothing to what the original built on. In fact it was the exact same movie. Just set in Thailand. Now I loved the original film but come on the least they could have done was change the method of amnesia. Poor effort. I expect better from The Hangover 3 (due 2013).
WORST FILM
WINNER: The Resident
Hammer Film returned in 2010 with the Johnpire winning remake Let Me In. However in 2011 they unleashed this pile of nonsense on us. Avoid like the plague unless you wanna see Hillary Swank in her skmipies..... yeah I thought not.
BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS
WINNER: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
To be quite fair there were not a lot of films on the list that could have competed with good ole Transformers. I wasn't that into the flashy films this year. That being said this is a worthy winner. It's always great seeing my good ole childhood buddies the Autobots on the screen and hopefully while this marks Michael Bays last Transformers film there will be more in this franchise (hopefully with a better plot).
BEST SOUNDTRACK
WINNER: Bad Teacher
Now you won't see Bad Teacher win any more awards but any film that has The Ripper by Judas Priest in its soundtrack will always get my nod of approval. Other class songs inluded that 80's classic 867-5309 Jenny by Tommy Tutone and Rainbow in the Dark by Dio. Kudos to the sound director. You just won a Johnpire buddy.
The "Bill Murray" Award for BEST CAMEO
WINNER: Hugh Jackman; X-Men First Class
He only said two words and was on the screen for about 3 seconds but that's what made this cameo all the more memorable. Also the fact that it was so unexpected is what clinched it. Marvel Studios first award of the night. Will there be more....
BEST MUSICAL MOMENT
WINNER: Captain America: The First Avenger; USO Scene
I placed this after Best Cameo because liek the winner of that award this was totally unexpected. And hilarious. I am disgusted with Marvel for not leaking a picture of the USO Cap suit before the proper suit. Could you imagine the Fanboy outrage? Anyway this is a catchy little tune that I was humming all the way to the car after the movie.
FUNNIEST MOMEMT
WINNER: Thor; "Bring Me Another!"
You know it's weird there were a lot of comedies released this year. There was The Hangover 2 which I've discussed already. There was Bridesmaids which was the longest most over rated movie I've ever seen. There was The Inbetweeners which I thoroughly enjoyed and of course there was The Guard. But when I was thinking of the funniest moment in movies in 2011 this scene from Thor immediatly sprang to mind and just like the last two awards it's because it's so unexpected. I mean there's Chris Hemsworth as Thor on Earth drinking a coffee then the next thing SMASH! It was brilliant. Strangely my second choice was also from Thor. The "Give me your largest dog" scene. Well done Marvel Studios that's 3 awards so far.
BEST NEWCOMER
WINNER: Elle Fanning; Super 8
I don't know if I should be disturbed that the last 3 years this award has been won by actresses that are all under 18 but as I've been saying for years that seems to be where all the female acting talent is in Hollywood (except for this year keep reading). Anyway Elle isn't technically speaking a newcomer. She's being doing movies since I Am Sam in 2001 but this performance in Super 8 I feel marks her arrival as an Actress in her own right and not just as Dakota Fannings kid sister. While I'm on Super 8 I must say it's a shame this film came out this year as I think any other year it would stand a chance of sweeping up everything. Them's are the breaks I guess.
The "Evil Dead 2" Award for BEST SEQUEL/PREQUEL/REMAKE
WINNER: True Grit
Ah yes the first appearance of one of the Heavyweight Films from the year. True Grit was great. They did what any good remake should do. They changed nothing. That is to say the basic plot was left untouched. Some bits from the book were added. The acting was obviously more polished (no offence John Wayne but I'm a Jeff Bridges guy). What we got was a great old Western movie aboout a girl and her drunk US Marshal buddy hunting down the man who murdered her father. This actually was a tough category because other elligible films were X-Men: First Class; Sherlock Holmes Game Of Shadows and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. So well done the Coens. I'm sure the Duke is proud.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
WINNER: Mila Kunis; Black Swan
Can I just say this is the first time EVER that this award has been included which I think goes to show how the female acting talent has increased this year. If you want any more proof then just watch Black Swan where Mila Kunis plays brilliantly as the outgoing rebel to Natalie Portmans shy and delicate character. It's great stuff. I think Melissa Leo in The Fighter also deserves some praise in this category as well but I gotta give the gong to Kunis. Well done ladies.
The "Morgan Freeman" Award for BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
WINNER: Christian Bale; The Fighter
As I mentioned already I started these awards out of frustration with the Oscars. However this year I got to hold up my hands and say they got a lot of it right. Bale throroughly deserved his Oscar and while he had almost a whole years worth of competition to deal with he saw them all off with his performance and has now earned himself his second Johnpire. Let me tell you though it was tough. There were excellent supporting performances from the like of Geoffery Rush in The Kings Speech. Tom Hiddlestone in Thor. Nick Nolte in Warrior and Benedict Cumberbatch in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. All of whom were phenomenal but there is just somethign about Bales character in The Fighter which makes you stand up and take notice every time he's on screen. He's gonna need that kind of charisma for next summers The Dark Knight Rises to avoid being upstaged again.
BEST ACTRESS
WINNER: Natalie Portman; Black Swan
I probably spoiled this in my blurb about Kunis but Natalie Portman really did put on an acting masterclass in Black Swan going from shy and retiring to crazy psycho sexy bitch. We watched the transformation from white swan to black swan unfold before our eyes and we believed every bit of it. This was thanks completely to Ms. Portman. Competiton here was also good with Amy Adams in The Fighter; Saoirse Ronan in Hanna; Elle Fanning in Super 8 and Halle Steinfeld in True Grit all in with a shout.
BEST ACTOR
WINNER: Colin Firth; The Kings Speech
Man this was a tough one to pick. Let me just tell you who I had shortlisted. Michael Fasbender in X-Men First Class; Thomas Hardy in Warrior; Jeff Bridges in True Grit and Gary Oldman in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I have changed my minds constantly between all 5 but as they said in Highlander "In the end there can be only one". Colin Firth is probably an unlikely winner of this for people who know me. But the fact is the man was superlative as King George VI a.k.a Bertie in the Kings Speech. It's got to be very hard for someone whose job is to speak for a living to stammer on purpose but Firth made it believeable. Well done Academy that's 3 awards I agree with you on. Maybe we're not so different.
BEST DIRECTOR
WINNER: Gavin O'Connor; Warrior
Phew I was worried Warrior would walk away with nothing and it really didn't deserve not to. This was another tough category with Kings Speech; The Fighter; Black Swan and believe it or not The Guard to contend with. What swayed this for me though was the photography of the fight scenes which was masterfully done. Aside from that the story progressed beautifully with the reason for Tommy's coldness not revealed untill late into the film (which was a good thing). Warrior is kind of unfortunate like Super 8 in that it came out in 2011 for the Johnpires. That being said it is eligible for an Academy Award and I hope to see it win at least 2.
Okay folks it's time to wrap up the Movie section with my Top 10 movies of the year (I think the winner of Best Film will suprise you). But before I get on with that I just want to say how pissed off I am with Storm Cinema Wateford for not getting in Drive. From everything I have heard this was a film of the year contender but yet my local did not get it in because of the bloody Smurfs. Anyway just wanted to get that off my chest. Let's get to it then.
Johnpire Top 10 Movies of 2011
10. The Guard
9. Captain America: The First Avenger
8. Thor
7. X-Men: First Class
6. True Grit
5. Black Swan
4. Warrior
3. The Kings Speech
2. The Fighter
BEST FILM OF 2011 - SENNA
To quote CM Punk "PIPEBOMB!". This film had no actors to direct. It had no scenes that needed to be staged. It's soundtrack was the screech of rubber tyres on racetrack and Portugeese. It was beautiful. Imagine a film where the hero is a genuine good guy who believes in what is right but is a total badass all the same. Imagine a villain that starts as a hero but becomes jealous of our heroes talents and turns to the dark side. Imagine the story of a boy fulfilling his childhood dream and inspiring one of the poorest countries in the world and an ending that pulls at your heartstrings with all it's might. This. Is. Senna. Directed by Asif Kapadia this documentary is one of the most powerful films I have ever seen. Compiled exclusively from archive TV footage and the Senna familys home videos what we are given is the story of one man from childhood to death. How he touched the lives of many with his never say quit attitude and desire to win. Ayrton Senna will always be remembered as a great driver and this film will go a long way to ensure that his legacy will go on forever. I doubt a lot of you have seen this film. It is out right now to rent or buy. I urge you to at least rent this masterpiece of motion picture. Thank you.
TELEVISION
2011 in television was domianted by one show. No I won't tell you what it is yet but for this reason I have drastically cut down on the ammount of categories this year. Aside from this awesome show there were a few other highlights. Smallville finished up its 10 series run with Clark finally putting on the suit (notice I said Clark not Tom Welling who ruined the ending with his refusal to wear the suit). The Walking Dead returned with a fantastic 2nd series (can't wait for part 2 in February). True Blood was great as always. I finally gave in and watched The Big Bang Theory which I now love to bits. Unfortunatly there was no Mad Men this year due to contract problems but it will be back in March. Anyway let's get this part of the show on the road.
BEST TV MINI-SERIES
WINNER: The Kennedys
This 8 part mini series was negatively received by Historians but was a thoroughly interesting look at the life of Americas first family during there greatest and darkest days. The epsidoe which focused on the Cuban Missle Crisis in particular sticks out as one of the best bits of television I have seen this year. Thanks to this mini-series I now have a greater interest in this era of history and it's importance to us today. It's also worth noting that this series got higher ratings over here than in the States. Funny that.
BEST TV ACTRESS
WINNER: Emilia Clarke; Game Of Thrones
Here we go. First award down for Game Of Thrones. Emilia Clarke was a last minute replacement for Tamzin Merchant to play Daenerys Targaryen and that proved to be one hell of a good call. Danerys is one of the most interesting characters in the series. She starts as a fragile princess in exile who is essentially sold by her brother to build an army but as the series develops she evolves into one of the strongest female characters on television. That last scene of Series 1 alone shows that she is going to be a force to be reckoned with for the rest of this shows run. Plus she's pretty god damn hot. And that always helps ;-)
BEST TV ACTOR
WINNER: Peter Dinklage; Game Of Thrones
You figured out what that show I was talking about was yet? I was tempted to give this award to Seán Bean for his role in the show (just to piss off Shay) but in all honesty Dinklage as the "halfling" Tyrion Lannister was the true star of series 1 of Game Of Thrones. No easy feat when you consider that this is one of the best casts since Band Of Brothers. Dinklage plays his part brilliantly and like with Emilia Clarkes character I have the feeling that Tyrion Lannister will be a force to be reckoned with for the foreseeable future of this show.
BEST TV EPISODE
WINNER: "Fire and Blood" Game Of Thrones
This was the final episode of Series 1 and man oh man it was a game changer. With the shock ending of the episode before this (no spoilers here) an all out war seems inevitible in Westeros. However there is so much more going on here than a war for the Kingdom. Beyond The Wall there is a much greater threat looming and then there's that amazing final scene with Daenerys which may prove to be one of the pivitol moments in this series. The worst thing about this episode was that it was a series finalé and that means we have to wait for series 2 to start.
BEST TV SHOW OF 2011
WINNER: Game Of Thrones
I don't think I need to say any more about this fantastic show other than it returns to Sky Atlantic in April and the box set is out on the 5th of March. If you haven't seen it I suggest you do. Oh and most of it's filmed in Northern Ireland so I'm going to count this as a home win.
Miscellaneous
Okay here is where I acknowledge everything else that is worth acknowledging in the world of Pop Culture. I don't usually give any explanation for the winners of this category. I am conscious that this has been long enough already. So I'm just gonna list them off this time. If you want an explanation just ask in the comments and I'll explain my thoughts on the matter.
BEST SPORTS MOMENT
WINNER: Ireland beat England at Cricket
BEST SPORTS TEAM
WINNER: Ireland Soccer Team
BEST SPORTSMAN/SPORTSWOMAN
WINNER: (TIE!) Richard Dunne & Shay Given
BEST SONG
WINNER: Jack Sparrow - The Lonely Island feat. Michael Bolton
BEST ALBUM
WINNER: Foo Fighters - Wasting Light
BEST CONCERT
WINNER: Rush @ The O2 Dublin
BEST VIDEO-GAME
WINNER: Batman: Arkham City
BEST VOICE ACTING IN A VIDEO GAME
WINNER: (TIE!!) Mark Hamill (Joker) & Kevin Conroy (Batman/Bruce Wayne/Hush)
BEST COMIC BOOK STORYLINE
WINNER: Spider Island by Dan Slott (Marvel Comics)
BEST COMIC BOOK WRITER
WINNER: Jeff Lemire; Animal Man (DC Comics)
BEST COMIC BOOK ARTIST
WINNER: Mikel Janin; Justice League Dark (DC Comics)
BEST ONGOING COMIC BOOK SERIES
WINNER: (TIE!!) Animal Man (DC Comics) & Swamp Thing (DC Comics)
BEST MOVIE I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE
WINNER: Oldboy
BEST WEBSERIES/PODCAST
WINNER: (TRIPLE TIE!!!) The Art Of Wrestling; Z: True Long Island Story & The Tommy Dreamer TV
BEST WRESTLER
WINNER: CM Punk
BEST WRESTLING PPV
WINNER: Money In The Bank 2011 (WWE)
BEST MOVIE I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE
WINNER: Oldboy
BEST WEBSERIES/PODCAST
WINNER: (TRIPLE TIE!!!) The Art Of Wrestling; Z: True Long Island Story & The Tommy Dreamer TV
BEST WRESTLER
WINNER: CM Punk
BEST WRESTLING PPV
WINNER: Money In The Bank 2011 (WWE)
MOMENT OF THE YEAR
WINNER: President Barrack Obama "Is Féidir Linn" Speech
ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR
WINNER(?): Carlos Tevez
PERSON OF THE YEAR
WINNER: Steve Jobs
Okay then folks that about wraps things up. If you've been reading this since the beginning fair play. I must say not being able to use a comma has driven me insane. Gonna have to get that fixed. Remember even though 2011 for the most part was a crappy year at least us fans of pop culture can look back and say it wasn't all that bad. We also said goodbye to the three biggest supervillains in the world. So bit of a historic year. I'll leave ye with a link to another IMDb list of mine. These are films to see in 2012. Of course it's all preliminary and films will be taken of or added to this list over the course of the year but it's a good guide. Tell ya what next years Evil Dead 2 award should be hard fought.
Okay Happy New Year everyone. Peace out.
