Johnpire Awards 2011

Hello my duckies and welcome one and all to my annual celebration of all things Pop Culture. The Johnpire Awards. Before we start I must apolagise my comma button on my laptop is broken so my grammer will not be the best. Anyway for those who have never clicked onto my little award show here before. Welcome. I started this a few years ago because I was sick to death of the Oscars getting it wrong and ignoring 10 months worth of movies. Since then I've expanded things a bit to throw in a TV section and a miscelanious section where I throw in anything else I feel is worthwhile. Anyway thanks for clicking and let's get to it.

MOVIES

2011 it must be said was a pretty good year for movies. As always the rules for eligibility for the awards are twofold. 1. I must have seen the movie and 2. It must have been released (IN IRELAND) between January 1st and December 31st 2011. I am pleased to tell you that thanks to our friends at IMDb and their awesome list feature for the first time I can show you the full list of movies eligible for the Johnpires. This list can be viewed here. Anyway enough waffle let's get to the awards and as always we'll start at the bottom of the barrel.

WORST ACTRESS

WINNER: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley; Transformers Dark Of The Moon

She is one good looking chick but Jesus Christ was her acting wooden. Ah well I very much doubt that will hold her career back. Congrats Rosie.

The "Keannu Reeves" Award for WORST ACTOR

WINNER: Jeffery Dean Morgan; The Resident

Ladies know him better as Denny from Greys Anatomy but I was impressed by him as The Comedian in Watchmen. Unfortunatly that seems to have been a watershed performance because in 2011 he stunk up the joint in this atrocious film (more on that later). I really hope this guy can turn his career around like a former winner (and namesake) to this award Nicholas Cage did because he surely can only get better?

The "Spider-Man 3" Award for WORST SEQUEL/PREQUEL/REMAKE

WINNER: The Hangover 2

I almost gave this to Transformers Dark Of The Moon but then thought that to be fair it imoproved on Revenge Of The Fallen. So I'll give it a pass. This movie however added nothing to what the original built on. In fact it was the exact same movie. Just set in Thailand. Now I loved the original film but come on the least they could have done was change the method of amnesia. Poor effort. I expect better from The Hangover 3 (due 2013).

WORST FILM

WINNER: The Resident

Hammer Film returned in 2010 with the Johnpire winning remake Let Me In. However in 2011 they unleashed this pile of nonsense on us. Avoid like the plague unless you wanna see Hillary Swank in her skmipies..... yeah I thought not.

BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS

WINNER: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

To be quite fair there were not a lot of films on the list that could have competed with good ole Transformers. I wasn't that into the flashy films this year. That being said this is a worthy winner. It's always great seeing my good ole childhood buddies the Autobots on the screen and hopefully while this marks Michael Bays last Transformers film there will be more in this franchise (hopefully with a better plot). 

BEST SOUNDTRACK

WINNER: Bad Teacher    

Now you won't see Bad Teacher win any more awards but any film that has The Ripper by Judas Priest in its soundtrack will always get my nod of approval. Other class songs inluded that 80's classic 867-5309 Jenny by Tommy Tutone and Rainbow in the Dark by Dio. Kudos to the sound director. You just won a Johnpire buddy.

The "Bill Murray" Award for BEST CAMEO 

WINNER: Hugh Jackman; X-Men First Class

He only said two words and was on the screen for about 3 seconds but that's what made this cameo all the more memorable. Also the fact that it was so unexpected is what clinched it. Marvel Studios first award of the night. Will there be more....

BEST MUSICAL MOMENT

WINNER: Captain America: The First Avenger; USO Scene

I placed this after Best Cameo because liek the winner of that award this was totally unexpected. And hilarious. I am disgusted with Marvel for not leaking a picture of the USO Cap suit before the proper suit. Could you imagine the Fanboy outrage? Anyway this is a catchy little tune that I was humming all the way to the car after the movie.

FUNNIEST MOMEMT

WINNER: Thor; "Bring Me Another!"

You know it's weird there were a lot of comedies released this year. There was The Hangover 2 which I've discussed already. There was Bridesmaids which was the longest most over rated movie I've ever seen. There was The Inbetweeners which I thoroughly enjoyed and of course there was The Guard. But when I was thinking of the funniest moment in movies in 2011 this scene from Thor immediatly sprang to mind and just like the last two awards it's because it's so unexpected. I mean there's Chris Hemsworth as Thor on Earth drinking a coffee then the next thing SMASH! It was brilliant. Strangely my second choice was also from Thor. The "Give me your largest dog" scene. Well done Marvel Studios that's 3 awards so far.

BEST NEWCOMER

WINNER: Elle Fanning; Super 8  

I don't know if I should be disturbed that the last 3 years this award has been won by actresses that are all under 18 but as I've been saying for years that seems to be where all the female acting talent is in Hollywood (except for this year keep reading). Anyway Elle isn't technically speaking a newcomer. She's being doing movies since I Am Sam in 2001 but this performance in Super 8 I feel marks her arrival as an Actress in her own right and not just as Dakota Fannings kid sister. While I'm on Super 8 I must say it's a shame this film came out this year as I think any other year it would stand a chance of sweeping up everything. Them's are the breaks I guess.

The "Evil Dead 2" Award for BEST SEQUEL/PREQUEL/REMAKE

WINNER: True Grit

Ah yes the first appearance of one of the Heavyweight Films from the year. True Grit was great. They did what any good remake should do. They changed nothing. That is to say the basic plot was left untouched. Some bits from the book were added. The acting was obviously more polished (no offence John Wayne but I'm a Jeff Bridges guy). What we got was a great old Western movie aboout a girl and her drunk US Marshal buddy hunting down the man who murdered her father. This actually was a tough category because other elligible films were X-Men: First Class; Sherlock Holmes Game Of Shadows and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. So well done the Coens. I'm sure the Duke is proud.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

WINNER: Mila Kunis; Black Swan

Can I just say this is the first time EVER that this award has been included which I think goes to show how the female acting talent has increased this year. If you want any more proof then just watch Black Swan where Mila Kunis plays brilliantly as the outgoing rebel to Natalie Portmans shy and delicate character. It's great stuff. I think Melissa Leo in The Fighter also deserves some praise in this category as well but I gotta give the gong to Kunis. Well done ladies.

The "Morgan Freeman" Award for BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

WINNER: Christian Bale; The Fighter

As I mentioned already I started these awards out of frustration with the Oscars. However this year I got to hold up my hands and say they got a lot of it right. Bale throroughly deserved his Oscar and while he had almost a whole years worth of competition to deal with he saw them all off with his performance and has now earned himself his second Johnpire. Let me tell you though it was tough. There were excellent supporting performances from the like of Geoffery Rush in The Kings Speech. Tom Hiddlestone in Thor. Nick Nolte in Warrior and Benedict Cumberbatch in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. All of whom were phenomenal but there is just somethign about Bales character in The Fighter which makes you stand up and take notice every time he's on screen. He's gonna need that kind of charisma for next summers The Dark Knight Rises to avoid being upstaged again.

BEST ACTRESS

WINNER: Natalie Portman; Black Swan 

I probably spoiled this in my blurb about Kunis but Natalie Portman really did put on an acting masterclass in Black Swan going from shy and retiring to crazy psycho sexy bitch. We watched the transformation from white swan to black swan unfold before our eyes and we believed every bit of it. This was thanks completely to Ms. Portman. Competiton here was also good with Amy Adams in The Fighter; Saoirse Ronan in Hanna; Elle Fanning in Super 8 and Halle Steinfeld in True Grit all in with a shout.

BEST ACTOR

WINNER: Colin Firth; The Kings Speech 

Man this was a tough one to pick. Let me just tell you who I had shortlisted. Michael Fasbender in X-Men First Class; Thomas Hardy in Warrior; Jeff Bridges in True Grit and Gary Oldman in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I have changed my minds constantly between all 5 but as they said in Highlander "In the end there can be only one". Colin Firth is probably an unlikely winner of this for people who know me. But the fact is the man was superlative as King George VI a.k.a Bertie in the Kings Speech. It's got to be very hard for someone whose job is to speak for a living to stammer on purpose but Firth made it believeable. Well done Academy that's 3 awards I agree with you on. Maybe we're not so different.

BEST DIRECTOR

WINNER: Gavin O'Connor; Warrior

Phew I was worried Warrior would walk away with nothing and it really didn't deserve not to. This was another tough category with Kings Speech; The Fighter; Black Swan and believe it or not The Guard to contend with. What swayed this for me though was the photography of the fight scenes which was masterfully done. Aside from that the story progressed beautifully with the reason for Tommy's coldness not revealed untill late into the film (which was a good thing). Warrior is kind of unfortunate like Super 8 in that it came out in 2011 for the Johnpires. That being said it is eligible for an Academy Award and I hope to see it win at least 2.

Okay folks it's time to wrap up the Movie section with my Top 10 movies of the year (I think the winner of Best Film will suprise you). But before I get on with that I just want to say how pissed off I am with Storm Cinema Wateford for not getting in Drive. From everything I have heard this was a film of the year contender but yet my local did not get it in because of the bloody Smurfs. Anyway just wanted to get that off my chest. Let's get to it then.

Johnpire Top 10 Movies of 2011

10. The Guard

9. Captain America: The First Avenger

8. Thor

7. X-Men: First Class

6. True Grit

5. Black Swan

4. Warrior

3. The Kings Speech

2. The Fighter

BEST FILM OF 2011 - SENNA

To quote CM Punk "PIPEBOMB!". This film had no actors to direct. It had no scenes that needed to be staged. It's soundtrack was the screech of rubber tyres on racetrack and Portugeese. It was beautiful. Imagine a film where the hero is a genuine good guy who believes in what is right but is a total badass all the same. Imagine a villain that starts as a hero but becomes jealous of our heroes talents and turns to the dark side. Imagine the story of a boy fulfilling his childhood dream and inspiring one of the poorest countries in the world and an ending that pulls at your heartstrings with all it's might. This. Is. Senna. Directed by Asif Kapadia this documentary is one of the most powerful films I have ever seen. Compiled exclusively from archive TV footage and the Senna familys home videos what we are given is the story of one man from childhood to death. How he touched the lives of many with his never say quit attitude and desire to win. Ayrton Senna will always be remembered as a great driver and this film will go a long way to ensure that his legacy will go on forever. I doubt a lot of you have seen this film. It is out right now to rent or buy. I urge you to at least rent this masterpiece of motion picture. Thank you.

 

 TELEVISION

2011 in television was domianted by one show. No I won't tell you what it is yet but for this reason I have drastically cut down on the ammount of categories this year. Aside from this awesome show there were a few other highlights. Smallville finished up its 10 series run with Clark finally putting on the suit (notice I said Clark not Tom Welling who ruined the ending with his refusal to wear the suit). The Walking Dead returned with a fantastic 2nd series (can't wait for part 2 in February). True Blood was great as always. I finally gave in and watched The Big Bang Theory which I now love to bits. Unfortunatly there was no Mad Men this year due to contract problems but it will be back in March. Anyway let's get this part of the show on the road.

BEST TV MINI-SERIES

WINNER: The Kennedys

This 8 part mini series was negatively received by Historians but was a thoroughly interesting look at the life of Americas first family during there greatest and darkest days. The epsidoe which focused on the Cuban Missle Crisis in particular sticks out as one of the best bits of television I have seen this year. Thanks to this mini-series I now have a greater interest in this era of history and it's importance to us today. It's also worth noting that this series got higher ratings over here than in the States. Funny that.

BEST TV ACTRESS

WINNER: Emilia Clarke; Game Of Thrones

Here we go. First award down for Game Of Thrones. Emilia Clarke was a last minute replacement for Tamzin Merchant to play Daenerys Targaryen and that proved to be one hell of a good call. Danerys is one of the most interesting characters in the series. She starts as a fragile princess in exile who is essentially sold by her brother to build an army but as the series develops she evolves into one of the strongest female characters on television. That last scene of Series 1 alone shows that she is going to be a force to be reckoned with for the rest of this shows run. Plus she's pretty god damn hot. And that always helps ;-)

BEST TV ACTOR

WINNER:  Peter Dinklage; Game Of Thrones

You figured out what that show I was talking about was yet? I was tempted to give this award to Seán Bean for his role in the show (just to piss off Shay) but in all honesty Dinklage as the "halfling" Tyrion Lannister was the true star of series 1 of Game Of Thrones. No easy feat when you consider that this is one of the best casts since Band Of Brothers. Dinklage plays his part brilliantly and like with Emilia Clarkes character I have the feeling that Tyrion Lannister will be a force to be reckoned with for the foreseeable future of this show.

BEST TV EPISODE

WINNER: "Fire and Blood" Game Of Thrones

This was the final episode of Series 1 and man oh man it was a game changer. With the shock ending of the episode before this (no spoilers here) an all out war seems inevitible in Westeros. However there is so much more going on here than a war for the Kingdom. Beyond The Wall there is a much greater threat looming and then there's that amazing final scene with Daenerys which may prove to be one of the pivitol moments in this series. The worst thing about this episode was that it was a series finalé and that means we have to wait for series 2 to start. 

BEST TV SHOW OF 2011

WINNER: Game Of Thrones

I don't think I need to say any more about this fantastic show other than it returns to Sky Atlantic in April and the box set is out on the 5th of March. If you haven't seen it I suggest you do. Oh and most of it's filmed in Northern Ireland so I'm going to count this as a home win.

 
Miscellaneous

Okay here is where I acknowledge everything else that is worth acknowledging in the world of Pop Culture. I don't usually give any explanation for the winners of this category. I am conscious that this has been long enough already. So I'm just gonna list them off this time. If you want an explanation just ask in the comments and I'll explain my thoughts on the matter.

BEST SPORTS MOMENT

WINNER: Ireland beat England at Cricket 

BEST SPORTS TEAM

WINNER: Ireland Soccer Team

BEST SPORTSMAN/SPORTSWOMAN

WINNER: (TIE!) Richard Dunne & Shay Given

BEST SONG

WINNER: Jack Sparrow - The Lonely Island feat. Michael Bolton

BEST ALBUM

WINNER: Foo Fighters - Wasting Light

BEST CONCERT

WINNER: Rush @ The O2 Dublin 

BEST VIDEO-GAME

WINNER: Batman: Arkham City

BEST VOICE ACTING IN A VIDEO GAME

WINNER: (TIE!!) Mark Hamill (Joker) & Kevin Conroy (Batman/Bruce Wayne/Hush)

BEST COMIC BOOK STORYLINE

WINNER: Spider Island by Dan Slott (Marvel Comics)

BEST COMIC BOOK WRITER

WINNER: Jeff Lemire; Animal Man (DC Comics)

BEST COMIC BOOK ARTIST

WINNER:  Mikel Janin; Justice League Dark (DC Comics)

BEST ONGOING COMIC BOOK SERIES

WINNER: (TIE!!) Animal Man (DC Comics) & Swamp Thing (DC Comics)

BEST MOVIE I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE
WINNER: Oldboy

BEST WEBSERIES/PODCAST
WINNER: (TRIPLE TIE!!!) The Art Of Wrestling; Z: True Long Island Story & The Tommy Dreamer TV

BEST WRESTLER
WINNER: CM Punk

BEST WRESTLING PPV
WINNER: Money In The Bank 2011 (WWE)

MOMENT OF THE YEAR

WINNER: President Barrack Obama "Is Féidir Linn" Speech

ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR

WINNER(?): Carlos Tevez

 
PERSON OF THE YEAR

WINNER: Steve Jobs
 

Okay then folks that about wraps things up. If you've been reading this since the beginning fair play. I must say not being able to use a comma has driven me insane. Gonna have to get that fixed. Remember even though 2011 for the most part was a crappy year at least us fans of pop culture can look back and say it wasn't all that bad. We also said goodbye to the three biggest supervillains in the world. So bit of a historic year. I'll leave ye with a link to another IMDb list of mine. These are films to see in 2012. Of course it's all preliminary and films will be taken of or added to this list over the course of the year but it's a good guide. Tell ya what next years Evil Dead 2 award should be hard fought. 

Okay Happy New Year everyone. Peace out.

Johnpire Awards Hall Of Fame: Sir Seán Connery

Thomas Sean Connery was born in Edinburgh, Scotland on the 25th of August 1930. After a brief stint in the Royal Navy he worked numerous menial jobs before getting involved in the King's Theatre in Edinburugh. It was here he became fascinated with acting and set off to become a professional actor.

After working numerous parts in TV and smaller movies, Connery landed a leading role in the Disney film "Darby O'Gill and The Little People". From here his star truely began to rise. After working a few more smaller movies and some TV work between 1959 and 1961. Connery exploded onto the world stage in 1962. First in a role in the World War II epic "The Longest Day" and then the role which truely catapulted Connery to the A list; James Bond 007 in "Dr. No".

As James Bond, Connery became an instant pop-culture sensation as well as a fashion icon and sex symbol of the 60's. In the following nine year he would resume this role in "From Russia With Love" (1963), "Goldfinger" (1964), "Thunderball" (1965), "You Only Live Twice" (1967) and "Diamonds Are Forever" (1971). It's perhaps the greatest testament to his acting ability that to this day after six other men have "officially" stepped into the dinner suit to portray James Bond on the silver screen that Seán Connery is still considered the best by many and second best by everyone else.

After "Diamonds Are Forever", Connery stepped aside as James Bond and went on to feature in several other films throughout the 70's. Two of note are the Agatha Christie crime thriller "Murder On The Orient Express" and the World War II epic (that's two now) "A Bridge Too Far". In 1983 Connery would again resume the role of James Bond in the unofficial remake of Thunderball for the 80's "Never Say Never Again". He would then go on to play a supporting role in "Highlander" and "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" as well as starring in "The Untouchables", for which he won his first and only Oscar (first nomination too) for Best Supporting Actor.



The 90's would also prove sucessful for Connery as he started the decade playing the characte of Soviet Submarine Captain Marko Ramius in the adaptation of the Tom Clancy novel "The Hunt For Red October" (my personal favourite Connery role). He would go on to resume his role from Highlander (briefly) in the sequel "Highlander II: The Quickening" as well as a cameo appearance in "Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves". He would later revisit this Medieval setting in "First Knight". The biggest role of Connery's 90's carreer came in 1996 however playing the role of John Patrick Mason in Michael Bay's action movie "The Rock". After this he would star alongside Catherine Zeta-Jones in "Entrapment" before his final acting performance in "The League Of Extraordinary Genlemen" in 2003.


He officially retired from acting in 2005 but has done some voice acting work. This month a spokesman also confirmed that Connery has retired from making public appearances. Outside of acting he has been named numerous times as "The Greatest Living Scott", been proclaimed "Sexiest Man alive" by People magazine in 1989 as well as "Sexiest Man Of The Century" in 1999. Seán Connery was also Knighted in July 2000.


For his outstanding contribution to pop-culture for the last 50 years, as well as having one of the most awsome accents known to man, I am proud to induct Sir Seán Connery as the second member of the Johnpire Hall Of Fame.

Johnpire Awards Hall Of Fame: Stan Lee

The first inductee to the Johnpire Hall Of Fame is a true pop culture icon. Stan "The Man" Lee in hsi capacity as a comic book writer changed the entire landscape of pop culture in the 60's and led to a teenage revolution which is still to this day being played out. 

 

Stanley Martin Lieber was born December 28th, 1922 in New York City, USA. In 1939 he became involved in Timely Comics a company which published the pulp comic books which were poular at the time. While at first he perforemd menial duties at the company he would finally achieve his dream and made his debut writing in Captain America Comics #3, this would also mark the first time Stanley used his well known pseudonym Stan Lee. Lee would continue to write various stories for Timely and its later incarnation Atlas throughout the 40's and 50's, becoming Editor In Chief in 1945, but became disatisfied with the business.

After DC comics introduced the Justice League, a team of superheroes, Lee on the advice decided to write a new superhero team; on his terms. Lee decided that his heroes would not be the perfect human beings seen in superhero comics at the time but rather would be flawed characters who would be prone the same vices as regular people: bad tempers, greed, vanity, etc and would have everyday problems such as paying bills. This team was The Fantastic Four who debuted in Fantastic Four #1 in November 1961 under the now renamed Marvel Comics publishing group. Lee was joined on this by Jack Kirby (who will most definitley be a future inductee) and would mark the begining of what, untill recently, was the longest running collabiration in comic book history. The Fantastic Four met with almost instant popularity amonst the teenagers of 1961 and buoyed by this sucess Lee  with Kirby as artist would take this new formula and go on to create a number of other characters such as: The Incredible Hulk (May 1962), Thor (August 1962), Iron Man (March 1963), Doctor Strange (July 1963), The X-Men (September 1963), Daredevil (April 1964), Sgt. Nick Fury (May 1963). He would also create the Marvel version of the Justice League, The Avengers (Septmeber 1963) and would oversee the reintroduction of Timely/Atlas charcters from the Golden Age of Comics like Namor: The Sub-Mariner (in Fantastic Four #4) and Captain America (in Avengers #4) making the companys entire publication history availible for use.

Possibly Lee's greatest sucess though came in August 1962 in Amazing Fantasy #15 when as a result of the sudden spike in teenage readers Lee with artist Steve Ditko decided to create a character they could easily relate to. This charcter would be even more the opposite of the archytypical DC charcters than perhaps any other character. This character would deal with actual teenage problems (which can still be related to today) such as girls, the feeling of being an outcast, bullying, not having the money for what you want, uncertainty etc. To make this charcter even more challenged he was an orphan raised by an elderly Aunt and Uncle and in his first appearance his actions would directly lead to the death of said Uncle. That character is Spider-Man, arguabley, the most popular comic book character of all time.Spider-Man was received wwith instant commercial, critical and fan sucess. It's a mark of Lee's sucess witht eh charcter that now almost 50 years after the charcters introduction he is still as popular and omnipresent as ever.

As well as creating timeless charcters Stan Lee also dealed in his stories with a lot of the social concerns at the time: Space Exploration in Fantastic Four, Racism in X-Men, The Vietnam War in Iron Man, Nuclear Testing in The Hulk, Disability in Daredevil, Guilt in Spider-Man. However Stan Lee's biggest contribution again came in Spider-Man when in Amazing Spider-Man #96-98 he delt with drug issues without the approval of the Comics Code Authority (a body set up in response to Fredric Wetham's book Seduction of the Innocent and The Senate Subcommittee on Juvenille Delinquency in the 50's), the CCA forbid publication companies from portraying certain "risqué" storylines, drugs included, and the praise received by Marvel for the way it dealt with drug concerns in Spider-Man the CCA was reformed to give publishing groups more leeway (no pun intended).

Lee's aproach of not treating his readers as children and using sophisticated vocabulary and storylines would have far-reaching efects essentially forcing DC into following suit. This would also inspire generations of comic book creators to come and truely established Lee as the father of all modern comics. 

Outside of comics Stan Lee has made cameo appearances in virtually every Marvel comics property to be made into a film including The Trial Of The Incredible Hulk, X-Men, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Hulk, Spider-Man 2, Fantastic Four, X-Men The Last Stand, Spider-Man 3, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man 2. It is also likely he will have cameos in Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Amazing Spider-Man and The Avengers.

Perhaps Lee's best cameo though comes in Kevin Smith's 1995 film Mallrats where as himself he gives one of the main charcters Brodie Bruce a rousing speech to encourage him. 

While Stan Lee today spends most of his time doing guest appearances, voice-overs and interviews his contribution to popular culture cannot be denied and for that reason I am proud to induct Stan "The Man" Lee as the first member of The Johnpire Hall Of Fame.

Johnpire Awards 2010

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen it’s that time of the year again
when I dissect pop culture over the last 365 and a quarter days and reward the
great and punish the shite. There’s been a few format changes this year which
needn’t bother ye too much. Anyway as a great man said “enough about me, whatta
ya say, let’s boogie”.

Movies

2010 was a bit of a strange year for the moving picture. The
guaranteed hits like Iron Man 2 didn’t seem to cut mustard while unexpected
gems like Kick-Ass, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and The Social Network turned
out to be cinematic gold. Possibly the biggest shock of the year came from a
certain gentleman I have blasted in the past for being well.... shit. Mr.
Nicholas Cage gave two great performances this year (might be 3 I didn’t see
the Sorcerers Apprentice) and as such I have decided to reward him by renaming
the Nicholas Cage Award for Worst Actor to the Ben Affleck Award for Worst
Actor. Well done Nick, but, I’ll be keeping my eye on you and one more
performance like Knowing and you go right back to being a shit actor. Anyway
lets get to it and we might as well start at the bottom.

Ben Affleck Award for Worst Actor

WINNER: Gerrard Butler (Gamer)

On paper this film could have been so good but in execution
it just stank thanks in no small part to the awful acting skills of Gerrard
Butler who I fear is a bit of a one hit wonder (mind you, he was pretty good in
Law Abiding Citizen). Yeah anyone whos seen this knows what I mean and if you
haven’t seen Gamer, take my advice, don’t.

Spider-Man 3 Award for Worst Film

WINNER: Gamer

Words cannot express how truly awful this film was. I
watched it on Sky Player and I’m glad I did cause if I had paid to see this I
probably would have taken a long walk off a short pier. I hope everyone
involved in this film takes a good hard look at themselves before making
another movie.

Avatar Award for Best Special Effects

WINNER: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

If you haven’t seen this film, and I know that a lot of you
haven’t! (I’ll deal with ye later). I highly recommend that you go out and
rent, or even better buy, this film is on sale NOW! SPOILER ALERT: You will be
seeing that winner line quite a lot in this so I’ll keep this brief. The
special effects in this film are AWESOME! The first fight alone is amazing but
probably the best example of the special effects comes in fight number 3
against Brandon Routh playing a way more badasss kind of Superman than the one
he played in Superman Returns

Runner Up: Inception

Best Soundtrack

Winner: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

 A great mix of original songs courtesy of Mr. Beck in the guise of Sex Bob-Omb the neo punk
band of the film. The soundtrack also includes my all time favourite Stones
song “Under My Thumb”, The song which inspired the name of the character “Scott
Pilgrim” from Plumtree but the standout track has to be “Black Sheep” from
Metric. Oh and there’s a great 8 bit Universal intro at the start of the movie
that’s AWESOME!

Runner Up:         Crazy Heart

                             Get Him To The Greek

Best Opening Credits

WINNER: Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Anyone else sensing a pattern here? The opening credits to
this film are great cause they advance the story by introducing us to Scott,
Sex Bob-Omb, Youn Neil and Knvies Chau while Sex Bob-Omb belt out the thumping
“We Are Sex Bob-Omb” which sets the scene perfectly for the madness which is to
ensue. Great stuff.

Best Musical Moment

WINNER: Clash At Demonhead performing “Black Sheep” in (guess what) Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

I’ll make this simple, just watch it, it’s cool. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGB4VDQI6XM

Runner Up:         Tommy Sweet (Colin Farrell) performing Crazy Heart at the end of Crazy Heart

Funniest Moment

WINNER: Robert Downey Jr. Punching the kid in Due Date

I thought this film was hilarious, not a lot of people seemed to agree with that but I think everyone agreed this was hilarious. Just cause it came completely out of nowhere and had you in hysterics. Great work RDJ. Special shout out to Zack Gylfianakos for his work in this film which showed he just has to stand to be funny.

Runner Up:  Furry Walls Scene in Get Him To The Greek

Everything Chris Evans did in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Best Quote

WINNER: Nicolas Cage as Big Daddy in Kick-Ass

The quote is quite simple it goes like this “Take. Cover. Child!!! Switch. To. Kryptonite!!! Go. To. Robin. REVENGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” but it’s the way Cage deliver it which is kinda
like his DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Quote from Face- Off. I loved it,
here’s a clip of it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NFcrU3eQPU&feature=related,
actually watching that again reminds me what a great scene that was which is
why I think it wil also win...

Runner Up          “You Cocky Cock!, I’ll make you pay for your crimes
against humanity", Scott Pilgrim

“He punched the highlights out of her hair. HE PUNCHED THE HIGHLIGHTS OUT OF HER HAIR!!”, Young Neil

Mustafa Award for Saddest Moment

WINNER: TIE!!!!

First: Death of Big Daddy in Kick-Ass

Say what you will about Nicholas Cage but he does pain very very well. You saw the clip above it was excellent. Chloe Moretz deserves a lot of credit (and shall receive it...) for her
excellent work as Hit Girl. Also the score here really works. Bravo to all concerned, nearly made my cry but our second winner did. It’s....

Second: Toy Story 3 Last 30 Minutes

I almost nominated the whole film but the last 30 minutes of this wonderful film just grab your heart strings and don’t let go. Because it’s the last 30 minutes I won’t go into too much detail
for those of you who haven’t seen this film (and you really should have by now,
you’ll know why soon enough....). All I’ll say is if this last half hour doesn’t provoke an emotional response from you (Richard I’m looking at you) you’re a soulless monster.

Best Villain

WINNER: Whiplash in Iron Man 2 (Played by Mickey Rourke)

Iron Man 2 disappointed this year exept in one way, Mickey Rourke did a fantastic job as D-list villain Whiplash turning him into a credible threat for Iron Man and War Machine. This just goes
to show how great a renaissance Rourkes career is having. Now, if they’d just
hurry up and get Sin City 2 in the can we’d be in business.

Runner Up:         Lucas Lee in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (Played by Brandon Routh)

Best Cameo(s)

WINNER: Thomas Jane and Clifton Collins Jr. as The Vegan Police
in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

It came out of nowhere, It made little to no sense, It was a total Deus Ex Machina BUT!!!! I LOVED IT. ‘Nuff Said.

Runner Up: Bruce Willis in The Expendables

Evil Dead 2 Award for Best Sequel/Prequel/Requel

WINNER: Toy Story 3

To be fair there was no competition here. Iron Man 2 was average, Let Me In was great but Toy Story 3 was in a league of its own. It truely is the best 3^rd part of a trilogy ever and that really is saying a lot about a series which has defied the sacred law of movies which states that “Thy Sequels shall never be as good as thy originals”. Yet in  the Toy Story trilogy, each sequel has been better than the film that proceeded it.... and Toy Story 1 was perfect!!!!????? So what does that make Toy Story 3? The answer is quite simply Infallible. It is so far beyond perfect it cannot be touched. Well done Pixar you did it again but I fear the only way from here is down.

Runner Up: Let Me In

Best Voice Actor

WINNER: Michael Keaton as Ken in Toy Story 3

The (other) original Batman does a great job in Toy Story 3 as Ken (He’s not a girls toy! ;-)). The seemingly nice, metrosexual, member of the sunnyside nursery school toys and second in command to Lotso Bear (another potential candidate). It’s a damn shame Timoty Dalton as Mr. Pricklepants didn’t have more time or he woulda won this. Ah well.

Best Newcomer:

WINNER: Chloe Moretz for Kick-Ass and Let Me In

She’s only 13 years old but this girl has given two of the strongest performances of any actress this year as the violently brilliant Hit-Girl in Kick-Ass and as the violently tragic Abby in Let Me In. This girl is off to a great start to her acting career, hopefully she will not go the way of other child stars and fade away to obscurity.

Runners Up: Ellen Wong as Knives Chau in Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Kieran Culkin as Wallace Welles in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

The principal cast of Cemetery Junction.

Morgan Freeman Award for Best Supporting Actor/Actress

WINNER: Nicholas Cage as Big Daddy in Kick-Ass

God the indie comic movies really are dominating this year aren’t they. What more can I say about Cage that I haven’t said already. He has had a Travolta circa 94 kinda year. Big Daddy was a character you could tell Cage was having fun with what with the Adam Westesque vocal work and the slightly naiveness of the characters alter ego (that being said once he let loose as Big Daddy in the Paper Mill he was truely badass). Well done Mr. Cage, keep up the good work.

Runners Up: Willem Dafoe (Daybreakers)

Joseph Gordan-Levitt (Inception)    can you believe this is the first mention of Inception?

John Malkovich (RED)

Andrew Garfield (The Social Network)

Best Actress

Winner: Chloe Moretz (Kick-Ass and Let Me In)

I don’t know what more to say than what I said in her win for Best Newcomer so I’ll just reiterate, she’s only 13!!! Other actresses get it together.

Runners Up: Ellen Page (Inception)

Best Actor

WINNER: Jeff Bridges as “Bad” Blake in Crazy Heart

Full disclosure. I’m breaking my
own rules by including The Dude in this. It is the 8^th of January
2011 right now and I’ve jsut finished watching Crazy Heart on Sky plus. By my
own rules 1^st of January 2010 to 31st of December 2010 are the dates
for eligibility for the Johnpires. However as this film was released in 2010
and the awards weren’t up I’m using that as justification. Normally I don’t agree
with the Oscars, that’s why I do my own awards. In my opinion the Oscars seems
to only apply for films released in the US between December and January and
ignores 80% of the rest of the year. However this one time I agree 100% with
the Academy. Jeff Bridges is PHENOMENAL in this film. We all loved him as The
Dude but I think I’m starting to love him more as Bad Blake. The broken down
Country singer trying to claw back one last run in the limelight. You know its
funny that last year the winner was Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler because the similarities
between Randy and Bad are striking. I think I’ve finally found my favourite
type of film. The faux biopic story of redemption and hardships overcome. Oh,
by the way Leonardo DiCaprio was the original winner for Inception and Shutter
Island. Better luck next year Leo, but True Grit with Bad Blake is also out in
2011.
Runners Up:       Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception/Shutter Island
Nicholas Cage in Bad Lieutenant 
Jessie Eisenburg in The Social Network 

Best Director 
WINNER: Christopher Nolan for Inception 
I know I’ve had a hard on for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World for most of this awards show, but, it’s time to give the devil his due so Christopher Nolan here’s to you. Nolan earns his second Johnpire Directorial award (cookie for any first timer who guesses what his first was for) easily with this masterfully complicated slice of Science Fiction brilliance. I happen to be watching it as I type and gotta say Nolan is commanding the camera and actors like a Field Marshal. Looking forward to The
Dark Knight Rises, Chris.
Runners Up:       Scott Cooper for Crazy Heart
Edgar Wright for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Matthew Vaughan for Kick-Ass 
Martin Scorscese for Shutter Island 
David Fincher for The Social Network 


And now Ladies and Gentlemen the
MAIN EVENT it’s time for the 

JOHNPIRE TOP 10 FILMS OF 2010 
10. Cemetery Junction 
9. Due Date 
8. Let Me In 
7. The Social Network 
6. Shutter Island 
5. Kick-Ass 
4. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World 
3. Inception 
2. Crazy Heart 

AND NOW!!!! 

Best Film of 2010 
WINNER: Toy Story 3 
Yes people the best film of 2010 was a children’s film. But it was also oh so much more than that. It was the conclusion of a journey which started 15 years ago. I don’t think anyone imagined Toy Story 3 would be as good as it was. Hell it breaks every rule of cinema, there has never been a third part of a trilogy that has surpassed its predecessors before this one and when you consider Toy Story 1 and 2 that is a bold statement but nevertheless it is a true one. Toy Story 3 also takes us through the emotional ringer and I think anyone that has seen the film must have felt some pangs of guilt over how they treated there toys when they were younger. Pixar have never let us down but to be honest with you I worry for them, cause how in god’s name can they top this?

Television 
2010 will probably best be remembered that Lost ended. Whatever your opinions on the finale, no one can argue that this was a monster of a tv show and will most likely not fade from anyones memories fast. However 2010 was the year that we said goodbye to another classic show, 24, which finished the day after Lost in the states. Its going to be really hard to face into 2011 without a show with a main character called Jack but there are some bright stars on the horizon. Smallville has been
phenomenal this year, Dexter as always is fantastic, The Walking Dead impressed with its debut mini-series and True Blood will no doubt come back as good as ever. If all else fails there’s always Top Gear. I’m looking forward to Episodes starring Matt LeBlanc and the Gervais/Merchant comedy series Life’s Too Short in 2011. 

Best Actor 
WINNER:  Nestor Carbonell as Richard Alpert in Lost 
Say what you will about the Lost finale but the standout Lost episode in Season 6 was the Richard centric Ab Aeterno. Carbonell has been great as Richard since he first appeared in Season 3 but had been an absolute mystery. This episode allowed us to finally learn all Richards secrets and it also allowed Carbonell the opportunity to put on a masterclass in acting. I really hope he’s got something good in the pipeline cause it would be a shame to not see an actor of this calibar on a regular basis. PS: how cool was it when Richard got his first grey hair in The End?
Runners Up:       Michael C. Hall as Dexter Morgan in Dexter
Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer in 24 
Henry Ian Cussick as Desmond Hume in Lost 
Michael Emmerson as Ben Linus in Lost 

Best Actress 
WINNER: Stana Katic as Kate Beckett in Castle 
What the fuck is Castle I hear you asking, well shame on you! Castle is a great detective show from the states of which the always awesome Nathan Fillion is one lead (Castle) and the other is Stana Katic as his muse Detective Kate Beckett. Katic is a great actress that plays the part of an emotionally injured but strong willed detective like she was born to play the role. The series is on alibi for Sky viewers and has recently (re)started on RTÉ at some ridiculously late time. I urge you to check it out.
Runner Up: Erica Durance as Lois Lane in Smallville (next year you’ll get it Erica, next year) 

Best New Series 
WINNER: The Walking Dead 
This one really is a no contest. The Walking Dead despite series 1 only being a 6 episode mini-series is so unbelievably awesome that no other new show even comes to mind for a runner up spot. The plot in case you don’t know (quite likely as no terrestrial channels over here have picked this up yet) sees a small town Sherriff surviving the immediate aftermath of a Zombie apocalypse thanks to being in a coma. When he awakens he is understandably a little confused and attempts to meet up with any other survivors he can find. Along the way encountering Zombies, enemy surviving humans and his douchebag “best friend”. That’s all I’ll say but seriously guys this is one to watch. The second series (full 22 episodes) was green lighted after the pilot! That’s unheard of.
Runner Up (Just thought of one): Spartacus: Blood and Sand 

Best DVD Box-Set 
WINNER: Dexter (Any Series!!!) 
With Lost and 24 gone I feel safe in saying that Dexter is perhaps the consistently best thing on TV right now. The Box sets are well worth investing in for the quality of well... everything. The camera work is superb, the acting is top notch, the pacing is perfect and the plots are intricate and well drawn out. There is no possible way you can go wrong in purchasing any series but I recommend starting at the beginning and avoiding spoilers on the internet (ESPECIALLY FOR SEASON 4!!!!!). Fine work, bring on season 5! 

Special One Time Award For Top 3 Moments of Lost “The End” 
3. Richard Alperts Grey hair 
There were several ways they could
have shown that the removal of the “cork” in the island had negated all of
Locke/Man In Black and Jack/Jacobs power, but the most effective was having the
immortal Richard Alpert discover he had his first grey hair. This led to a
great acting display from Nest Carbonell. Never has a man been so happy to have
a grey hair. 
2.  Jacks Death 
Oh spoiler alert if you’re one of the 100 people in the planet that didn’t see it. Jack dying on the spot where he woke up after the crash in the pilot episode was a great touch and was made even better by having him see the plane take off (symbolising his sacrifice had been worth it) and by having Vincent the dog, who woke him in the pilot episode die next to him (bringing things full circles as all good ending should, remember I said that.....). 
1.  Sawyer and Julliet “Finding Eachother” in the Flash Sideways Universe 
Well I’ll call it that for the 100 people mentioned above. Anyway, as Lostheads know most people when they “found someone” in the flash sideways universe were hesitant and backed away from the
other person in confusion and sometimes fear. This however was not the case with Julliet and Sawyer who literally couldn’t keep there hands off eachother as the memories of there *spoiler alert* past lives hit them like lightning bolts. This was a real heartwarming scene and truely was Lost at its finest. 

Best Episode 
WINNER: Smallville, Episode 200, Homecoming 
Lets just consider this for a
moment. In a year with such great season finales as 24’s & Lost’s, The
magnificent pilot episode of The Walking Dead, Every single episode of Dexter,
Ab Aetern; a Lost episode which is second only to Season 4’s perfect “The
Constant”. The winner of my award for Best Episode goes to a Smallville
episode? How can that be? Well let me tell you why. Homecoming was the 200^th
episode of Smallville and on paper it reads like Clark Kents high school
reunion. Look at a preview for the episode and thats what you’ll see. However,
what you got was oh so much more. What you got was Smallville at its season 1 finest.
You had great emotion with the Lois/Clark thing, you had a flashback to the
also magnificent 100^th episode. You had Tom Welling actually doing a
good job of acting. You had a brief glimpse of a grown up Clark Kent (oh and
some dude called Superman). You had a great bad guy turned good in the always
awesome James Marsters playing Brainiac. But more importantly than any of that
you finally, FINALLY got a confirmed levitation. This time there was no
brainwashing, no min swapping, none of it. Clark Kent actually floated off the
ground in Smallville under his own power. It only took 200 episodes but damnit
it was worth it. On a side note this is the final series and I can tell you
from watching it through the wonder of modern technology if the quality continues
as it has then expect to see a Smallville episode in this category next year.
Runners Up:       Ab Aeterno, Lost
The End, Lost 
Day 8; 15:00-16:00, 24
Days Gone Bye (Pilot), The Walking Dead
Murder On The Orient Express, Agatha Christies Poirot (one shot) 
200/201, South Park (technically 2 episodes but its a 2 parter so fuck it) 

Best TV Show 
WINNER: Lost 
This was a hard one, Dexter would have won it but as I’ve only seen season 4 on box set DVD and not actually on TV I think I have to disqualify it. That being said considering everything that it has given us Lost deserves this. I would like to thank everyone involved with it for its fantastic quality over 6 series and the way in which it has changed TV, because wether you like it or not it has done that. Thanks to Lost we don’t have to expect a compromise between visuals and acting. Thanks to Lost I think we all (re)learned that patience is a virtue and thanks to Lost we learned that sometimes its not the destination that matters, it’s the journey (again, remember I said that....). There will never again be a show like it and in some ways its a shame but in another way we should be thankful, because how could you top this for making you live a show?
Runners Up:       South Park
The Walking Dead 
Top Gear

Okay I'm running out of patience with this. In case you're wondering about the somewhat cahotic arrangement in all the above stuuf it's cause I tried to post it on Facebook and the formatting wouldn't work. I tried MySpace and it woldn't even let me paste it (this was written on Word) so then I decided Fuck It I'bve wanted to set up a proper blog for a while so why not just do it there. So here we are.
Anyway I don't want to spend too much more tim e with this (it's already a week late) so I'm just gonna run through everything else quickly with no explanations or runners up and just list them. Sorry next years will be better.

• Best Videogame: Red Dead Redemption
• Best Album: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World Original Soundtrack
• Best Song: "Love The Way You Lie" Eminem feat. Rihanna
• Best Concert: Iron Maiden at the O2 Dublin
• Best DVD I Saw For The First Time: Trainspotting
• Best Gadget: iPhone4
• Best Sports Team: Cork Senior Football Team
• Best Session: My 25th/Richards23rd Weekend in Bantry
• Best Moment: Helicopter trip in Las Vegas
• Best Comic Storyline: Blackest Night

Okay theres just one last award to go and I wanna explain this one cause I feel quite passionatley about it.


Asshole Of The Year 2010
WINNER: YOU!!!
If you are reading this and you did not see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World I fucking hate you. Not so much if you're living outside the US, which I dont think any of ye are so please ignore this, this is for the American geeks. What happend to ye guys? Seriously we got The Dark Knight to 1 Billion but when Scott Pilgrim came out it made a 29 Million Dollar loss? I know Universal were idiots for releasing it the same day as The Expendables but seriously? The simple fact is this film was too good to fail and there is still time for you to redeem yourselves. If you are reading this I urge you to at the very least rent Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. It's out right now. If you like it buy it, the extras on the dvd are great (I recommend Blu Ray, if you have it, though). This great wrong against films can be righted, it's not too late! Oh and if you downloaded this film while it was on release. You are scum. Have some fucking ethics man, if a movie is failing at the box office that doesn't deserve to (81% Rotten Tomatoes, 69% Metacritic) then do the right thing and pay some money to see it. Download films that have made there money to your hearts content but leave the smaller guys alone. Right rant over.



If you've made it this far down I thank you for your patience an apolagise for the chaotic format differences. As I practise more with this Blogger thing I'll get better and promise to do better (and on time) next year.